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melodyqueen2
Posts:2
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| 04/27/2011 4:20 PM |
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| I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now, and my significant other expressed his past struggle with porn to me within the first few months of us getting to know each other. Having been raised in Christian home, and being a strong follower of Christ, he had accountability partners who encouraged him to actively seek godly counsel when the issue was initially revealed a few years ago. So he became involved with a "Celebrate Recovery" ministry group at his church shortly afterward, and has since become one of its facilitators --in addition to becoming one of the worship leaders for the church's weekend services. There are so many ways by which he strives to keep his heart/mind pure (most of which I thought was a little absurd before reading FWO...), in addition to his regular church activities and daily private devotional times: no R-rated movies, no secular music, no tv in his home, no internet on his phone, and no internet on his work laptop unless he is using wi-fi in a public location. I truly admire him for continuing to be so intentional in his recovery walk.
Unfortunately, he confessed a few days ago that he had a relapse where he viewed pornographic material last week. He said he immediately sought counsel and was in a serious state of repentance toward God for his sin. And although it was awkward and very difficult, he shared it with me because of the effect it would have on me: his repentance would cause him to have to draw back on our relationship and refocus his attention on God for some [unspecified] amount of time.
It's always been so clear that he truly has a heart for God and that the Holy Spirit dwells so deeply within him. But as there is none righteous among us, he is susceptible to sin just like anyone else - myself included. I'm so very appreciative of his honesty and openness in this trying time of his, because I know he values our relationship, as well, and wants to do everything possible to maintain it - while keeping our Father as his number one priority.
While my initial response to his confession was brief (because I was simply taken aback), I did express my appreciation to him and my willingness to help him in any way I can - especially by prayer.
We haven't spoken in a few days (which was expected because he said he needed to "draw back" and take time to work through this) but I don't want my silence to somehow give him the wrong idea of judgment or condemnation from my end. I have been fasting and praying so hard for him, because I do believe that God can move and have His way in this situation. I want to let him know that I still care, and that I'm in this for as long as he'll have me, but I don't know how to do so or what to say --or if I even should in the first place, because I don't want to be a bother or a distraction at this time either...
What do I do??? |
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Angela
Posts:7
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| 09/10/2011 5:55 PM |
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| I noticed nobody has responded to your question, and was wondering how things are now? I will pray for your husband and all the men suffering in this, since they don't even know they are hurting themselves when they commit to these images. I say this because they are sinning and God doesn't honor that, and it will eventually hurt the relationship (if there is one) by his sexual needs already being fulfilled, leaving the wife unattended, hurt, and the trust in the relationship may be in jepardy also. I would say you are doing good and praying for him. It wouldn't have hurt if you explained you forgive him, and God forgives him also, and it is where your forgiveness comes from. Also that you trust in the Lord, and you are waiting. I hope this doesn't happen again for you or your husband. |
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