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Grazzi
Posts:3
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| 11/14/2010 7:38 AM |
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| I am right now having a 6-month long-distance relationship with a man who I consider my best friend and partner. We have a very open and honest communication with each other, share the same interests and just felt that we were willing to give to each other what each other needed - love and affection. We are committed to love each other and see that our relationship has great potential for the future. He calls me his light and his compass. I know that he loves me unconditionally and accepts me for who I am. The only thing that hinders this relationship is that when I met him he was and still is going through a divorce process. He is just waiting for the final decision from the courts. I am not the reason for the divorce as when I came to his life he already made that decision. It is not for me to say what is the cause of the divorce although he has told me but still I don't want to say anything about the wife's attitude - all I know is that he fell out of love because his wife has disrespected him and makes him feel inadequate. He tried for many years to keep the marriage but came a point when he had enough. He and his wife have been through marriage counseling for 5 times and yet nothing happened to change the situation. He just wants to get out of the marriage at all cost. It has been a very difficult marriage for him. My love for him is his comfort and help in these difficult times in his life. He just said that all he needs from me is an extra dose of patience and understanding. He said he needs my emotional stability and strength - of which I am willing to give. Its a long-distance relationship as I would like to stay away and so as not to be caught up in the middle of his divorce process. I want though to let him know that I am here for him and someone he can lean on to - be his friend who accepts him unconditionally. I don't know what the future holds for us but for now, we would like to enjoy each other's friendships - more than anything else. I know he needs my comfort and love. How can I help him more as he travails in this difficult circumstance in his life even as a friend? |
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L1317
Posts:1
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| 11/18/2010 10:18 PM |
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Hi Grazzi,
Tough situation to be in... It seems to me that he has expressed to you exactly what he needs and wants from you ("He just said that all he needs from me is an extra dose of patience and understanding. He said he needs my emotional stability and strength").
Let him deal with it in his own way. Men don't like unsolicited advice unless they ask for it. It's a good thing that you distanced yourself from the wife and divorce situation and focused on the two of you and your relationship. He seems very open and connected to himself - So just be. If he'll want something more then your patience and understanding he'll let you know...
Good luck. I hope it works out and evolves into an amazing partnership... :-) |
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Grazzi
Posts:3
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| 11/19/2010 12:35 AM |
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| Thank you for such an advice. Now that is being tested. His wife found out about the relationship and she coerce him to call me to say that he wants out of the relationship (I could hear her dictating behind his back.) and that he doesn't love me anymore - all in 1.5 MINUTES. So I just hanged the phone and ask him to call me (if he is able) to explain. It is a good thing I am thousands of miles away from him. That has been over 5 days ago and he hasn't called me yet. Maybe he is just waiting for the situation to calm down as that will cause him a lot in the divorce process. I left a couple of voice messages to tell him I just need him to explain the situation and that I still love him and willing to wait as I promised him a lot of patience and understanding and I am still true to my promise to him. Yes, I am waiting and allow him to work his out of the situation. But I don't want to dwell on the negative as I deeply know in my heart he still loves me - more than a hundred of emails, hundreds of hours on the phone and IM and days of dating - are what I am holding on to that he still loves me. But honestly, it is hard to wait but because I willingly entered into this relationship then I will stay true to my commitment to him. Even if his wife calls me, threatens me and send emails that mock my being - because I love him I chose to be silent and not answer the calls or emails. I felt that the wife's emails to me also disrespect him because of the things she says there. There's nothing I can do now with the situation but just allow God to work things out for him. All I need now is patience, patience and avoid overanalyzing the situation and just be hopeful. I hope he calls me soon ... I miss him and want to hear from him.
Thanks ... I just need the encouragement right now ... but I am carrying on with my life and am more focus on work and trust that he is alright and I know he is working things out on his end. God bless you. |
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Vonnie
Posts:3
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| 12/22/2010 5:53 PM |
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| It seems like his wife may actually still love him, but has not for some reason, been able to show him even with counseling. You probably need to step back and see if he does get divorced after all. Maybe God has something else in store for you than this still married man. |
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